How to Make Friends as an International Student [Host Tips]

Making new friends isn’t easy at the best of times, but it can be even more challenging for a high school student on the other side of the world who’s navigating a new culture and communicating in their second language. 

As a host family, you’re often the first person to notice when your student is thriving socially, or when they might be struggling. This guide on how to make friends as an international student can help you support your exchange student and empower them to make the most of their time in the U.S.

We’ll explore the social challenges exchange students may face, practical ways you can offer support, and what steps to take if your student isn’t connecting as easily as hoped. We’ll also highlight how AYUSA supports both students and host families via experienced, local Community Representatives (CRs), who regularly check in throughout the year.

Why It’s Sometimes Hard for International Students to Make Friends

Exchange students are adjusting to a new school, figuring out how social interactions work in a different culture, navigating a high school cafeteria for the first time, and learning a second language, all while being far from everything familiar! Understanding things from your student’s perspective can help you give them the right kind of support as they build a social life in the U.S.

Cultural Differences

Every culture has its own unspoken rules about friendship. In some countries, friendships develop slowly and are built on long-term trust, while in the U.S., students may appear friendly very quickly but not always follow up with a deeper connection. An exchange student might mistake politeness for friendship, or feel unsure about how to move a casual interaction into a real social relationship. 

Even small things, like how often teens text, make plans last-minute, or spend time with each other outside of school, can feel unfamiliar to international students. Without guidance, students may hesitate to put themselves out there, even when they want to make friends.

Language Barriers and Confidence

Even students with strong English skills may feel self-conscious using a second language in social situations. Slang, humor, and fast-paced conversations can be tricky, and the fear of making mistakes may cause students to stay quiet. This can sometimes be misinterpreted by others as disinterest, when in reality the student is simply feeling nervous, shy, or overwhelmed.

You have to remember that everything is new and different for exchange students, not just the language. They’re trying to figure out what dimes and quarters are, they might not be familiar with Fahrenheit, and measurements like inches and miles are also usually new. Understanding all these basic elements of life in the U.S. takes time, and students become more confident daily as they start to settle into their surroundings.

Homesickness and Culture Shock

Homesickness is a natural part of the exchange experience, especially in the early weeks of an exchange student’s academic year in America. Missing family, friends, food, routines, and familiar surroundings can drain a student’s emotional energy, making it harder to engage socially. When students are feeling sad or overwhelmed, they may retreat inward rather than seeking out new connections.

Culture shock can also play a role. Adjusting to new expectations at school, different teaching styles, social norms, and daily routines is exhausting. This phase is almost always temporary, and with time, support, and encouragement, most students begin to feel more comfortable and confident forming friendships.

Your Role in Helping an Exchange Student Make Friends

As a host family, you have an incredible opportunity to shape your exchange student’s experience not just at home, but in how confident and supported they feel stepping into new social situations. While you can’t make friendships happen for your student, the environment you create and the guidance you offer can help. 

Creating a Safe, Welcoming Home Environment

A strong sense of belonging at home gives your student the emotional foundation they need to connect with others. You can help by:

Making your home feel inclusive and welcoming

• Treat your student as a full member of the family, not a guest
• Invite them to join family meals, outings, and everyday activities
• Let them know they’re always welcome, even if they don’t say yes every time

Encouraging open, low-pressure conversation

• Ask open-ended questions about school and daily life (e.g., “How was lunch today?”)
• Listen without immediately trying to fix things
• Give them space to share at their own pace

Normalizing social challenges

• Reassure your student that making friends takes time
• Let them know it’s okay to feel unsure or awkward at first
• Avoid comparing them to host siblings or other exchange students

Offering emotional support

• Acknowledge their feelings if they’re frustrated or discouraged
• Celebrate small social wins, like starting a conversation or joining an activity
• Remind them they’re not alone, and that you’re there to support them

Modeling Social Behavior and Cultural Norms

Many social expectations in the U.S. are unspoken. You can help your foreign exchange student understand how friendships often work by sharing insight and examples, and support them by:

Talking through real-life social situations

• How to join a group conversation or invite someone to hang out
• What phrases like “We should hang out sometime” usually mean
• How to respond to invitations, even if they feel unsure

Modeling everyday social interactions

• Let your student see how you interact with friends, neighbors, and family
• Include them in social moments when appropriate
• Encourage their participation without forcing involvement

Reinforcing authenticity

• Remind your student they don’t need to change who they are to fit in
• Encourage them to take social steps that feel comfortable for them
• Emphasize that confidence grows with time and experience

With a little support and encouragement, you give your student the tools they need to build friendships in a way that feels natural for them.

How to Help Your Exchange Student Build Friendships at School

School is where exchange students spend the majority of their time, and where many of their first friendships begin. By offering support behind the scenes, you can help your student feel more comfortable navigating school life and connecting with their peers.

Encourage Participation in School Activities

For students who study abroad in the USA, clubs, sports, and extracurricular programs create built-in opportunities to meet peers with shared interests, and they’re a big part of the American high school experience. You can help your student find their feet by:

Exploring options together

• Look through the school’s list of clubs, teams, and activities
• Talk about what your student enjoys or is curious to try
• Encourage them to pick one or two activities rather than overcommitting

Explaining why activities matter socially

• Activities provide regular, low-pressure interaction with the same group of students
• Shared goals and interests make conversation easier
• Friendships often form naturally over time through consistent participation

Offering practical support

• Help with transportation to practices, meetings, or events
• Assist with registration or understanding school schedules
• Encourage attendance even if they feel nervous at first

Reinforcing commitment

• Remind your student that it may take a few weeks to feel comfortable
• Encourage them to give an activity a fair chance before deciding it’s not for them

Support Classroom and Lunchroom Socialization

Day-to-day moments, like class discussions and lunch breaks, can be some of the most challenging social situations for exchange students. These unstructured times often require confidence and initiative, which can take time to develop. You can support your student by:

Talking through common school scenarios

• How to join a group at lunch or sit with classmates
• Smalltalk and how to start simple conversations (schoolwork, sports, weekend plans)
• What to do if they feel unsure or awkward

Encouraging small, achievable steps

• Sitting with one new person instead of a large group
• Speaking up once during class or group work
• Joining classmates for lunch once or twice a week

Building confidence through reassurance

• Remind your student that many friendships start slowly
• Emphasize that not every interaction has to lead to a close friendship
• Encourage effort over outcomes

Helping them reflect

• Ask what went well rather than focusing only on what felt difficult
• Celebrate their progress, even if it feels minor

Talk to Teachers and School Staff (If Necessary)

Most students adapt on their own, but in some cases, additional support from the school can make a positive difference. It might be time to reach out if:

Your student seems consistently isolated or overwhelmed

• They regularly eat alone or avoid group settings
• They express anxiety about school or social interactions
• Social struggles don’t improve over time

You’re unsure how to support them on your own

• School counselors, advisors, or teachers may have insight into classroom dynamics
• Staff can suggest clubs, peer mentors, or group activities

You want guidance on the best next steps

• Ask for advice rather than immediate solutions
• Keep communication focused on support, not “fixing” your student

Before contacting the school, it’s often helpful to talk with your AYUSA CR. They can help you decide whether involving school staff is appropriate, guide you on how to approach the conversation, and offer additional resources. 

Remember, you don’t have to navigate these situations alone; we’re here to support both you and your exchange student every step of the way.

How to Encourage Friendships Outside of School

Time spent outside the classroom often allows students to relax, be themselves, and connect in more natural ways. As a host family, here’s how you can help your student expand their social circle beyond the schoolyard.

Involve Students in Family Life

When you host a high school exchange student, they should feel like a real member of your family. This builds their confidence and helps them feel secure enough to form relationships elsewhere. You can support this by:

Inviting your student into everyday activities

• Family meals, grocery shopping, errands, and weekend plans
• Movie nights, game nights, or other fun household events
• Holiday traditions and special family events

Encouraging interaction with extended family and friends

• Introduce your student to relatives during visits or gatherings
• Include them when spending time with neighbors or family friends
• Help them practice social interaction in a comfortable, low-pressure setting

Creating opportunities for informal conversation

• Encourage shared time without screens when possible
• Ask about their interests, opinions, and experiences
• Allow conversations to unfold naturally without forcing participation

Reinforcing belonging

• Remind your student that they are part of the family
• Let them know it’s okay if they need quiet time, too
• Balance inclusion with respect for their personal space

Help Students Meet Teens in the Community

Friendships often grow from shared experiences, and local community activities can provide new opportunities for your exchange student to meet peers outside of school. You can help by:

Exploring local activities and groups

• Community sports leagues, recreation centers, or fitness classes
• Volunteer opportunities suitable for their age group
• Youth groups, clubs, or community programs for teens

Using existing connections

• Introduce your student to neighbors with teens their age
• Encourage interaction with friends of host siblings
• Invite local teens to casual get-togethers at your home

How to Support Social Growth Without Forcing It

Every exchange student approaches friendships differently during their exchange year in the USA. Some students are eager to meet new people right away, while others need more time to feel comfortable. As a host family, one of the most important things you can do is support your student’s social growth in a way that respects who they are. 

Recognizing Different Personality Types

Not all students will socialize in the same way, and that’s okay. Your exchange student’s personality plays a big role in how they form friendships and how quickly they feel comfortable doing so. We recommend:

Acknowledging personality differences

• Some students are naturally outgoing, while others are more reserved
• Introverted students may prefer one-on-one connections over large groups
• Quiet students can still form deep, meaningful friendships

Avoiding comparisons

• Try not to compare your student to host siblings or past exchange students
• Remember that every exchange experience is unique
• Focus on your student’s progress rather than how it looks from the outside

Respecting individual comfort levels

• Allow your student to decide how much social interaction feels manageable
• Understand that needing downtime doesn’t mean they’re unhappy
• Recognize that social energy may vary from day to day

Encouraging Without Pressuring

Encouragement is most effective when it feels supportive, not overwhelming. Pushing too hard can sometimes increase anxiety or cause students to withdraw further. When you host an international student, try to encourage them by:

Using open-ended questions

• Ask how they’re feeling rather than how many friends they’ve made
• Invite conversation without demanding answers
• Let them guide the discussion when possible

Offering options instead of directives

• Suggest activities or opportunities rather than insisting on them
• Give your student a sense of choice and control
• Respect their decisions, even if they say no sometimes

Recognizing their progress

• Acknowledge the courage it takes to try something new
• Praise small steps, like attending a meeting or starting a conversation
• Focus on growth rather than immediate success

Checking in without hovering

• Let your student know you’re available if they want to talk
• Avoid frequent reminders or repeated questions about social progress
• Trust that confidence and connection often build gradually

When you support your exchange student in a way that honors their personality and pace, you help create an environment where their social growth feels safe and achievable. 

Signs Your Exchange Student May Be Struggling Socially

It’s normal for exchange students to experience some social ups and downs as they adjust to a new country, school, and family. However, as a host family in the USA, you’re often in the best position to notice when challenges might be more than temporary growing pains. Here’s an idea of what to look out for.

Emotional and Behavioral Indicators

Social difficulties often show up in small changes in mood, behavior, or routine. None of these signs automatically means something is wrong, but taken together or over time, they can suggest your student may need extra support. You might notice:

Withdrawal or isolation

• Spending most of their free time alone in their room
• Avoiding social invitations or group activities
• Showing little interest in making plans with peers

Changes in mood or motivation

• Appearing unusually quiet, sad, or irritable
• Expressing frustration about school or friendships
• Losing enthusiasm for activities they previously enjoyed

Avoidance of social situations

• Reluctance to attend school events, clubs, or gatherings
• Frequent excuses to skip social opportunities
• Anxiety about interacting with classmates

Increased homesickness

• Talking frequently about missing home or friends from their home country
• Spending excessive time online with people back home
• Comparing everything negatively to life before the exchange

These behaviors don’t necessarily indicate a serious problem, but they can signal that your student may be feeling uncertain, lonely, or overwhelmed socially.

When Normal Adjustment Becomes a Concern

Almost every exchange student goes through an adjustment period during their study abroad program, and some initial social discomfort is expected. The key is noticing whether challenges gradually improve or persist over time. It may be time to take a closer look if:

Struggles continue long after the initial adjustment period

• Little or no progress in forming friendships after several months
• Ongoing reluctance to engage socially despite encouragement

Social challenges begin to affect daily functioning

• Declining school engagement or motivation
• Increased stress, sleep issues, or emotional distress
• Feeling hopeless, excluded, or like they don’t belong

Your instincts tell you something isn’t improving

• You sense your student is becoming more withdrawn over time
• Attempts to encourage social interaction seem to distress your student

If you start to feel concerned, you don’t have to handle it alone. A gentle, supportive conversation with your student can be a great first step, and you can also reach out to your AYUSA Community Representative for guidance. 

How AYUSA Supports Host Families and Students With Social Adjustment

Supporting an exchange student’s social adjustment is a shared effort, and you’re never expected to handle challenges on your own. AYUSA is committed to supporting both host families and students throughout the exchange experience, especially when it comes to social and emotional well-being. One of the most important parts of that support system is our network of experienced, local CRs.

The Role of AYUSA Community Representatives 

AYUSA CRs are a consistent, trusted resource for both host families and students. They understand the exchange experience firsthand and are there to help guide you through both everyday questions and more challenging situations. CRs support you by:

Maintaining regular check-ins

• Checking in with host families and students throughout the year
• Providing a safe space for students to share concerns
• Staying connected with schools to ensure students are supported

Offering experience-based guidance

• Helping you understand what’s typical during social adjustment
• Sharing practical strategies for supporting your student
• Offering reassurance when challenges arise

Identifying concerns early

• Noticing patterns that may signal social or emotional difficulty
• Helping address small issues before they become larger problems
• Supporting both you and your student in a proactive, thoughtful way

Serving as a neutral, supportive presence

• Providing an outside perspective when situations feel unclear
• Supporting open communication between host families, students, and schools
• Helping everyone feel heard and understood

Our goal is to ensure that no host family or student feels alone. By staying connected with your CR and reaching out early, you’re giving your exchange student the best possible chance to feel supported, confident, and socially connected throughout their international student exchange.

Friendship Takes Time, and Support Makes a Difference

Making friends in a new country doesn’t happen overnight; it’s a process for every exchange student. As a host family, your understanding, encouragement, and steady support can make all the difference as your student grows socially at their own pace. 

Remember, you’re not expected to have all the answers. AYUSA is here to support you every step of the way, and your local Community Representative is a key part of that support system. Whether you have a quick question or a growing concern, your CR is there to help guide you and your student toward positive solutions.

If you’re ready to help a teenager fulfil their dream of studying in the U.S., start your hosting application here.